Confessions of A Counsellor

I’ll Go!

It was a cold day. Well, to tell the truth, I don’t really know: I can’t remember. It was July so it may well have been chilly but it doesn't really matter. I was sitting in front of my computer as I often am, when I got an email notification. It was a "Camp Update" from Mrs Fox. I eagerly open it (I always love to get her emails) and scan the contents. Counsellor and staff applications are open! 

Quick!

I jump online and immediately begin to fill out the counsellor application.  Name, age, phone number, emergency contact information, blah, blah, blah. Oh and then there were the hard ones about 'why do you want to be a counsellor?' and 'how do you keep a living relationship with Christ?' or something along those lines. Yeah, I had to stop and think about those ones. But I waded through it and clicked 'submit' and then jumped on FaceBook to tell the world! I was so excited! Everyone who know about Do and Dare heard about it in the next week or so. Yep, camp couldn't come soon enough to suit me.

Unwilling Servant

Then life got busy. You know how it is because you've been there too. Life. That pretty much sums it up. But then there was my friend's wedding in Bundaberg, and I had to come back a week early from that to play at a Christmas concert, then the next weekend was another concert and then there

(NT)

was the concert for February that I had to organise. Then there were the Christmas and New Year's festivities (which I thoroughly enjoyed) where people I love surrounded me and we laughed and loved and played together. 

And suddenly, it was time for Camp. I hadn't really had much time to think about it in the lead-up, but the thoughts I did have weren't exactly positive ones. My mind was weary with all the (music) stuff going on around me and so was my body. I didn't feel ready for camp and, frankly, I didn't want to go.

I arrived. I was tired. During counsellor training, all I wanted to do was lay down in some cool place and...sleep. Oh and catch up with Ely. But the last thing I wanted to do was think. And we had to think allot during training! 

I struggled through. Sunday came. My heart sank as I thought those 'today's the day' thoughts. I just couldn't do it. Could I?

The U-turn

Of course the u-turn came. We all know it did because I came back praising God. (As I always do. You'd think I'd learn wouldn't you?) But the u-turn didn't come on Sunday. It didn't come on Monday. It didn't come until Sabbath night. Oh sure, I did it. I was a model (figuratively) counsellor and did all (almost) the right things. You know. I was a good girl. I didn't complain (except to Ely and Mum and God!) and I was a cheerful happy influence that I was supposed to be. That's not to say that I didn't want to be there anymore. Once it started, I just got sucked in to the camp atmosphere and did my part but I was still tired and I still felt inadequate.

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I was blessed. Tremendously. Pr Sam and Sean's messages spoke to my heart through their simple and yet deep practicality and God really used them to impress me of things that needed changing in my life. I was blessed by the girls. The way that God really worked in our unit to bring about some pretty amazing changes spoke volumes of His power.

But Sabbath night. We'd just come back from an amazing afternoon running an outreach program at Taree church. The kids had glorified God in an awesome way through music, sermonettes (so proud of you guys!), health nuggets and more and we were home and tired and ready for Mr Nebblett's last evening message. 

We counsellors had a quick prayer together as the song-leaders led the children in singing their favourite scripture songs one last time. (Love that singing guys! Miss it so much!) As we did, I felt like there was a heavy burden on my heart. My mind flew over the past week. (That week really did FLY!) My heart sank.

(JT)

There was nothing, absolutely nothing I could think of that I had done right. Nothing that would have nudged my campers in the right direction: toward the Kingdom of Heaven. Nothing that had shown them a better way portrayed in my life. It's then that the tears began. And it's then that I really began to plead with God.

God is all-powerful, thankfully. That means He can bring something awesome out of nothing.......I know it. Because that's what He did for me. 

He took all my inadequacies, my nothingness, my 'filthy rags' and transformed them into a work of Saving Grace. He used me, little old, unholy me, to be an impact on my camper's lives that could last for eternity.

As each of those precious Morning Stars testified to me and Ely and the whole camp of the blessings they'd received, the decision's they'd made, the changes they were planning to put in place, I cried some more. Tears of joy this time. And I praised God for turning my nothingness into eternal joy!

"Will You Be Back?"

Next year. It's coming so fast already! Yes, most probably, I will be back. Back where God puts me. But, if He has other plans, so be it. I am under His command. I go where He leads.

(NT)

"God gives opportunities: success depends upon the use made of them." (PP223)